You can’t have what you want unless you know what it is.

After you decide why you are here, the next step is deciding what you want—to do, to be, and to have. What does success look like to you?

As a baby, you were clear about what you wanted. If you were hungry, you cried for food. If you didn’t like something, you rejected it. If you wanted to play, you played. But somewhere along the way, people started telling you how you should live your life. Many of us end up doing things we don’t actually want—just to please others. That’s why so many people, when asked what they truly want, say, I don’t know.

They’ve spent so much time living under the expectations of society, parents, and friends that they’ve lost touch with their real desires. So, how do you reconnect with what you truly want?

Stop Settling—Start Honoring Your Preferences

One way to break free is by honoring your preferences in every situation—big or small.

Stop saying:

❌ I don’t know.

❌ I don’t care.

❌ Whatever you want.

Instead, ask yourself:

✔ If I did care, what would I want?

✔ If I did have a preference, what would it be?

Not being clear on what you want and constantly deferring to others is just a habit—one you can break. Many people believe they can’t have everything they want. But that’s just a limiting belief.

If you believe you can’t, you’re right. If you believe you can, you’re also right.

Three Exercises to Gain Clarity

1. The 30-30-30 Exercise

Make a list of:

• 30 things you want to do

• 30 things you want to have

• 30 things you want to be before you die

2. The Deep Reflection Exercise

Set aside 15–30 minutes. Ask yourself repeatedly:

“What do I want?”

Write down every answer that comes to mind.

At first, your answers might be surface-level, like:

? I want a house by the beach.

? I want a Mercedes-Benz.

But as you go deeper, you’ll uncover your true desires:

? I want to feel loved.

? I want to feel powerful.

These deeper desires reveal your core values—what truly matters to you.

3. The “20 Things I Love” List

Write down 20 things you love to do. Most people assume they can’t make a living doing what they love, but in reality, they can.

Look at your list and ask yourself:

“How could I make a living doing one or more of these things?”

Or, “How can I bring more of these things into my current work?”

Find ways to inject more of what brings you life into what you do to make a living.

Creating a Life Vision

To get from where you are today to where you want to be, you must know two things:

1️⃣ Where you are today

2️⃣ Where you want to be tomorrow

Your life vision is a detailed description of where you want to go. It should include:

✔ Work & Career – What’s your ideal job or business? Who do you work with? How much do you earn?

✔ Finances – How much money do you make monthly? How much do you have in savings and investments?

✔ Recreation & Free Time – What hobbies do you pursue? What vacations do you take?

✔ Health & Fitness – What does your ideal body look like? How strong and healthy do you feel?

✔ Relationships – What kind of friendships and romantic relationships do you have? Are they loving and empowering?

✔ Personal Growth – What skills do you develop? Do you take courses, travel, or explore new passions?

✔ Contribution to the Community – How do you give back? What impact do you make?

Dream Without Limits

Don’t hold back. Let your vision be big. It takes just as much energy to dream big as it does to dream small.

? Don’t let anyone talk you out of your vision.

? Don’t let others make you change it.

? Don’t let anyone tell you it can’t be done.

Visualizing Your Ideal Life

Start dreaming into these categories:

✔ Finances – What’s your ideal salary? What’s your total net worth?

✔ Home – Where do you live? What’s your house like?

✔ Car & Possessions – What do you own? What does money allow you to buy?

✔ Career – Where do you work? What do you do? Who do you serve?

✔ Free Time – What do you do for fun? What vacations do you take?

✔ Health – What does your body look and feel like? What’s your diet and fitness routine?

✔ Relationships – What kind of love, friendships, and connections do you have?

✔ Personal Development – What new skills do you learn? What goals do you pursue?

✔ Community Impact – What kind of contributions do you make?

Write everything down. Don’t worry about how you’ll achieve it—just capture your vision.

Then, read your vision daily. This keeps your mind focused on your goals. The more you reinforce your vision, the faster you will manifest it.

Speak Your Vision into Existence

Once you’ve written your vision, share it with a trusted friend—someone who will support and encourage you. Speaking your vision out loud makes it more real.

Dream big. Decide what you want. Then go after it with everything you’ve got.